Note: I’m talking straight here, not contrary, so just take this at whatever value you want.
Contraries are born, or made, no one decides to be one. It’s like deciding you’re a plant one day, and a toadstool the next.
Your life will show you, others like you will find you, and call you out, to your face. Or just call you whatever it is is the cultural word for us. Accept it, and don’t rebel against that, it’s quite OK. Just be yourself like you always have and continue to think outside the box.
Who-the-heck would “wannabe” one? It’s asking for trouble, and getting slapped around for the next 5 years in many different ways. You fucking wannabes out there wanting to be like us, find yourselves, don’t try to be us, or be like us, be yourself. If that’s being in an office for 12 hours a day, or doing macramé and selling it, so be it. Just go do it.
However, do not accept the labels of ‘dyslexia’, or ‘adhd’, ‘add’, or whatever else “western” “medicine” calls us. Those will only hurt you. But you already thought that, didn’t you.
One thing I’ve been accepting and changing is looking inside/outside. Quite often you look inside for the answers. The other is looking outside, but inside, by praying, and listening to the answers (meditation, or just sitting quietly). When you go ask other clowns for advice/help, they’ll just tell you something along those lines, or just not say anything and laugh ;).
I listen to music a lot, mostly peyote music, sometimes powwow; this helps keep in tune/touch with my creative side. I should do more of that ;).
[PS: ‘typos’ made by accident left in on purpose.]