Fun getting ignored when you haven’t done certain things in a while and get treated like a pariah, like people have become allergic to you or something. Oh well, that’s what you get for listening to the Big Boss I suppose. Humans being humans.
I don’t get let known about stuff happening anymore. I suppose that’s what happens when you can’t make it ”too often”, even though it would make my month or even year to be there.
People don’t realise just how deeply I feel, and care, and when I call you my relative, it’s for life. I don’t play act. Heck when I was younger people used to tell me to lighten up or whatever. I don’t need lightening up, people need to open up and be real.
I know ”life” happens. I quote that because what we have now isn’t life, it’s slavery.
The irony too me feeling this way is that I don’t have the energy to be peopling as much as I thought. I love people, but at the same time they tire me out.
Part of my purpose is to help people help themselves. To connect their own healing power inside themselves. It’s funny that people don’t seem to realise they have it, and they seem to be afraid of it. It’s a gift people, and it happens without you even thinking about it. Your cuts and burns healing are only the tip of the iceberg.
I had a feeling I’d be lonely sometimes following my path. It’s always been pretty alone, and sometimes lonely. The first I can handle. I cherish it. The second is never easy. Creator told me in various ways that it would be. One was another hyoka, another was stories I heard and read. Another was directly.
I’ve been wanting to write something about this for a long time, but a) kept wondering if I’d just have this stolen by some fucking new ager / neo-hippie idiot looking for their stupid ”heyoka empath” self-bullshitting fix b) some fucking spammer looking to increase their traffic from stolen content they didn’t even read.
BTW, to those idiot new agers: you couldn’t possibly understand or even want to be, or actually be one of your made-up ”heyoka empath” if you knew that it’s not all rose coloured unicorns and puppies. You want to see me get ugly, piss me or my relatives off. We’ll set your ego straight, and take great pleasure in doing so. It’s part of our calling, after all.
To you ladies, gents, and others, that know, or suspect, have been told by others: you’re not alone, and don’t be afraid of being you. Creator made you that way for a reason. We bring balance and sanity. You see how backwards their society is? Our job is to set that straight. Knock down assholes that need taking down, put their egos to a managable level, and make the sad, depressed, lonely, heartbroken, feel better about life and themselves.
Our internals are extremes because we feel deeply, and were not sick, we’re not angels, nor demons, we’re human beings with a calling. It’s hard, I know, but man, is it worth it.
Find your place, even though it might not be in their society. If you do find a place in it, be yourself. It’s the most important thing you can do, both for yourself and Creator.
That last bit goes for anyone, really.
I’m supposed to be asleep right now, I’m getting up in about 2 hours. LOL =) .
I reread some articles on here recently, meaning that part of me was reminding my ”tiny” ego that I’ve forgotten something. Been feeling more touchy the last few weeks, mostly because of job stress, and not being able to sing much. So it’s been driving me crazy.
So reading those articles again it reminded of who I am, and my own purpose. I’m just totally fucking lost on how to manifest it. As usual, Notawinna (to use a Cree word) is being His usual with me, and letting me figure it out, after me asking Him several times already. It’s like that answer I got at Sun Dance 2 years ago: ”he’ll know”.
Grandmas and Grandpas want me to figure it out on my own. It’s the path that I agreed to, before I was born here. They need me to figure it out on my own.
I love You for that. It’s been quite the ride so far. Kci Wliwni.
One thing though, could you help me with my knees and foot? I’m tired of hurting for days and weeks on end.